I’m pleased to have Diane Zipperman, SJCS Counselor, as a guest blogger.

The winter Olympics are about to begin in Vancouver. The participating athletes have dedicated many years of hard work, practice and sacrifice to reach this opportunity to compete among the world’s best. What will the message of the Olympics be for them and for those of us who watch them: that winning is all important? Or that pursuing one’s passion, putting forth your best effort, and displaying good sportsmanship are what counts? As parents, how can we use the Olympic Games as an opportunity to teach important values to our children about winning at sports, in school and in life?
Winning is an important value in our culture and has contributed to great achievements in many different areas of our lives. We must, however, also examine how winning fits in with other important values such as playing by the rules, respecting “teammates” (on the field, in the classroom and on the job) and the recognition of hard work over outcome. When children believe that being the best is more important than doing your best, they may respond to this pressure by not trying at all.
Children look to us – their parents, teachers, and coaches – for lessons on how to work at winning and cope with losing. While not every child can become “Olympians”, everyone can develop new skills, learn to get along with others, and deal with the emotions than come with winning and losing. Children can be taught to demonstrate caring and assistance of an injured opponent during a game or of a classmate who is upset over a poor grade (vs. gloating over or showing off their advantage). They can learn how to handle their own anger or disappointment over bad calls or mistakes. And, they can be encouraged to experience success by focusing on how to improve their own performance and skills, not just on the number of games they win.
While watching the Olympics and other sporting events, we can help children learn these lessons. We can ask: “How would you feel if you fell during a skating competition or ski race? What can the fallen player do to collect him or herself and get back into the game? Why are the people who have no chance of winning competing anyway?” Point out positive examples of good sportsmanship such as athletes shaking the hands of opponents, helping a hurting teammate, and continuing to try their hardest even if the team is losing by a lot. Help them understand how these ways of responding may apply in their lives – in school and with family and friends.
Our children, and we as their parents, need to remember that they are not necessarily going to win at everything and that this does not mean they have “failed.” Personal success can be defined as trying one’s best, recovering and learning from one’s mistakes, treating others fairly and with respect – and, enjoying oneself.
For Further Reading: http://www.alfiekohn.org/parenting/tcac.htm









organizational skills they will need at their next schools and throughout their lifetimes; sometimes to finish work begun in class – and always to help toward the mastery of skills.